I have been going to this fitness class for the past four months now.
In the beginning , it was just a desire to look fitter and smarter.. a task which I haven't been able to accomplish even at the end of this fourth month (sigh!!) But I have started enjoying myself tremendously. Tremendously. Now that is a term which I haven't used for my enjoyment for the last I don't even remember how many years. But right through the first minute to the last 60th minute, I absolutely lose track of the outside world and am completely immersed in the sometimes tricky and sometimes sensuous dance moves. I am not a dancer but I sure do feel like one. You know what, I feel beautiful. A lovely involuntary smile on my face, a challenge in my eyes, a spright (literally) in my step. It sure is a magical world for me ,the most happiest hour of the day which leaves me charged up for the rest.
Showing posts with label introspection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introspection. Show all posts
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Introspection
Are moral values passed on to us or instilled into us by our parents ? Does the peer influence play a significant role in strengthening our outlook towards morality?
I am one of the lucky ones who got honest parents and siblings, I certainly look up to them whenever I am in distress.
I am still luckier that for almost 8 years, I was a part of the teaching fraternity. I had a chance to influence young and vulnerable minds and was able to mould them into IT professionals .Indeed , the compliments of some of the students transfer me to some alien world where I feel loved, respected and admired. It is almost embarrassing to feel so good. I have resigned voluntarily but twinges of remorse are there.
Glimpses of that alien world come rushing to me now and then leaving me sad and wanting for more.Though I have my family and well wishers around me but there is this emptiness which encompasses me at times,refusing to go away and often finding home in my soul. I want to teach again. I want to lose myself in those magical moments of teaching again.
There are yet more times when I wonder at how well I've fared through these 36 years of my life.
Again, I am lucky that I am able to not only retrospect but introspect too.The bad moments torment me and I refuse to let destiny take the blame.
I have never been able to take good decisions and sometimes I feel, I might have even let my parents down.
Why couldn't I have been more restrained? Why couldn't I not empathise with my mother's problems when I was just on the threshold of crossing my teens?
I should have looked deeper inside me ,I should have been able to find my own solutions. Instead I chose to drift away to meaningless values of all those around me .I should have listened to that tiny voice belonging to me, so lovingly reared by my mother.
Now I do and that I do, people find it difficult to bear me.Only my children and students find me fit to follow and emulate. And these very values which have been instilled into me by my parents,which have not been influenced by my peers make me feel at peace with myself.
I am one of the lucky ones who got honest parents and siblings, I certainly look up to them whenever I am in distress.
I am still luckier that for almost 8 years, I was a part of the teaching fraternity. I had a chance to influence young and vulnerable minds and was able to mould them into IT professionals .Indeed , the compliments of some of the students transfer me to some alien world where I feel loved, respected and admired. It is almost embarrassing to feel so good. I have resigned voluntarily but twinges of remorse are there.
Glimpses of that alien world come rushing to me now and then leaving me sad and wanting for more.Though I have my family and well wishers around me but there is this emptiness which encompasses me at times,refusing to go away and often finding home in my soul. I want to teach again. I want to lose myself in those magical moments of teaching again.
There are yet more times when I wonder at how well I've fared through these 36 years of my life.
Again, I am lucky that I am able to not only retrospect but introspect too.The bad moments torment me and I refuse to let destiny take the blame.
I have never been able to take good decisions and sometimes I feel, I might have even let my parents down.
Why couldn't I have been more restrained? Why couldn't I not empathise with my mother's problems when I was just on the threshold of crossing my teens?
I should have looked deeper inside me ,I should have been able to find my own solutions. Instead I chose to drift away to meaningless values of all those around me .I should have listened to that tiny voice belonging to me, so lovingly reared by my mother.
Now I do and that I do, people find it difficult to bear me.Only my children and students find me fit to follow and emulate. And these very values which have been instilled into me by my parents,which have not been influenced by my peers make me feel at peace with myself.
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